“By accepting yourself and being completely who you are, your presence can make others happy.” — Jane Roberts
Perhaps like you, I have become consciously aware of myself again. I am beginning to recognize my thoughts and feelings, and how they influence my happiness and success in various areas of my life.
This awareness has helped me realize the personality split running commentaries in my mind. It’s normal, undoubtedly something you experience too. Often, it’s the echoes of my parents’ voices, now unwittingly playing out internally, fully on my own terms. This negative self-talk and self-doubt have led to my insecurity.
This inner split voice has an opinion on almost everything. When I listen closely, I hear intense debates in my mind. Though I had the opportunity this week to truly realize a major insecurity of mine, I need validation.
The best medicine to eliminate feelings of insecurity and fear is compassion. It brings one back to the foundation of inner strength. — The Dalai Lama
I was angry about conflicting opinions with my child’s school and hints that I didn’t know what was best for my child. When I vented to some friends, they sympathized, but one of them basically gave me a universal push to let my actions speak for themselves, rather than seeking permission and validation.
But… I argued… If I simply respond with “yes” or “no”… surely it’s only polite to respond… I like to understand others’ actions, so why can’t I explain my own, wouldn’t that help to facilitate understanding? My inner empathy doesn’t want to hurt their feelings by ignoring what they say and doing what I want, at least without an explanation… Anyway, what’s the difference between a reason and an explanation?
But said nothing? For someone trained in the art of defense, this is a very difficult choice.
My partner and I had the same conversation: “Ignore them; they’re obviously immersed in their own world. Why don’t you continue to do what you want, anyway you will do it?”
At that moment, a memory came to mind. I was fourteen and had a broken thumb; on the second day of my trip to my swim camp, I had a follow-up appointment at the hospital. I really wanted to go to that camp, and I kept begging and begging until I was pushed back to the door, angrily responding “Do what you want to do, anyway you will always do that.”
I have never regretted pushing this point, though I admit I felt guilty because I pushed someone too far, and they softened not from my point of view, but from frustration. But I had a great time at that camp, and it left me with some great memories. This is not an isolated incident, and words like “dog with bones” and “more understanding” have long occupied my mind.
Who am I? A person far beyond the boundaries of the ground, they are just representatives of our current social form. I’m not here to live within limits, I’m here to help all of us uncover what lies beneath the boundaries.
This is how I challenge you to deal with your insecurity.
Take a step inward, listen to the thoughts in your mind, play memories, feel every hurt and pain, and listen to the voice shouting for self-acceptance. Acknowledge this voice, nurture it, and give it the love it deserves — because we all should be loved for our true selves.
Imagine a world full of people positively healing our insecurities, finding the path back to love, and returning to happiness in this process. The life you want will be fought for!
