How do you cope with sadness when you lose someone you love? Grief is one of the most challenging things we must deal with in our lives. I’m a man… and I’ll admit, I’m completely new to talking about my feelings.
When one of my best friends recently passed away, I went through a journey I can’t quite describe. I’ve experienced (and will continue to experience) my grief. I also spent a lot of time with my friend’s family. It’s complicated. My friend James was 24, and while his health was poor and cruel, limiting his life expectancy, his overall outlook made us all ponder and wish for more time with him.
When good friends like James are taken away, a few words can fill the void in our lives. My brain is searching for answers to questions like “why?” But death, as we all know, is inevitable, and it can strike at any moment.
- Surround Yourself with Support
We all need loved ones around to help us through tough times. People to pick you up. Those who are there to comfort you when you’re feeling low, reminding you that you’re a healthy person. They are also the ones you realize are there when grief hits. My business partners have been incredibly supportive, for which I’m deeply grateful. My friend’s relatives have also been supportive, even though they’re going through a tough time themselves.
- Take It One Day at a Time…
Slow down and take a deep breath. Deep breathing can help you relax, release stress, and focus on the present.
Try to stay grounded in the present. Dwelling on the past won’t change anything, and worrying about the future won’t undo the past.
When your thoughts take you to places you don’t want to go, learning to slow down and take things one step at a time can be helpful. Gently remind yourself to focus on just one minute, one hour, and one day at a time.
- Comfort Yourself in Grief
Self-comforting is doing something beneficial and kind to help you feel better.
These little things can keep you calm, relaxed, and address your discomfort. Small comforts in life can even make difficult times easier to handle. Taking a walk to your favorite hilltop or listening to your favorite music can bring comfort. Watching a game of your favorite team or visiting the cinema.
Though these things may seem insignificant, they can help you feel better.
- Do Something, Anything
Sometimes, when you feel helpless, the best thing you can do is find a way to commemorate the person you’ve lost.
Perhaps you can plan an event or continue a journey in something your friend was passionate about.
- Accepting the Fact That Some Things Have No Answers
People naturally ask “why?” over and over again.
Unfortunately, “why?” has no answer.
Terrible things happen to good people, and this is especially true when we lose those we love.
Part of the healing process is learning to find ways to cope with the unknown and accepting the fact that there will never be answers.
In Conclusion
Grief is a natural response to loss. When something or someone you love is taken away, we all feel emotional pain. The more significant the loss, the stronger our grief. Yet, it can still be profoundly misunderstood, as most people have felt a bit down, a bit sad at some point in their lives, so not everyone sees the big deal.
If you know someone who has suffered a loss, make sure you’re part of their support circle.
If you’re grieving, reach out to people you know; they can provide support. Don’t go it alone. Do it with other friends who are still present in your life.
Grief is like an open wound; it will heal. Just keep swimming, as Nemo said in the Pixar movie.
